Classic joke: 1 1 =? One day, the teacher asked Xiaomin: "1 1 = What?" He said, "I don't know." "Go to ask the family." The teacher said. Xiaomin returned home and asked his mother: "1 1 = How much?" Mom said impatiently: "You roll out for me !!!!!!!!" Xiao Min went to ask his father again, his father was watching the game, just a good one The ball scored, "It's cool !!!" He asked his brother again. The brother was falling in love and said to his girlfriend on the phone, "I'm waiting for you downstairs." The teacher asked Xiaomin: 1 1 = How many? "He said," You roll it out for me !!!!!!!!!!! "The teacher slapped him. He said, "It's cool !!!" The teacher said: "You roll it out for me !!!!!!!!!" Xiaomin said: "I'm waiting for you downstairs !!!"
Classic jokes: The girls in our hospital turned around for the girls, and the secretary of the secretary jumped back to the girls of our hospital.
Classic jokes: Birthday gift Wife on his birthday, the husband bought a pair of jewelry for his wife, and his wife watched the jewelry of this value. After watching, the wife said, "Dear, if you, if you Isn't it more affordable to buy me a Mercedes -Benz sedan? " " Yeah, "the husband said," Unfortunately, the Mercedes -Benz sedan is not fake now! "
A family of love is in a new house. Everyone wants the groom and groom to talk about how to get married. The bride shyly said, "We are free in love." The groom quickly added: "Yes, it is free love, I gave all the savings of more than ten years to your mother, so that you can get free." R. n Classic jokes: For one day, a handsome guy and pretty girl in northern Jiangsu met. After a classic "obedient deaf hole, leek fried green onions", the handsome guy took out a player with a player and played with the pretty girl:
Little handsome guy: QQK? (Talk about it)
Qiao girl: Q45? (What to talk about)
The handsome guy: Q21! (Fall in love)
Qiao girl: 8Q! Intersection (Don't talk)
$%...!
The train is about to stand, the little handsome guy does not give up, so he takes out the poker card again:
Little handsome guy: 3QQK? (Let's talk about it again)
Classic jokes: The confession of a middle school student is in my heart, the teacher is the most fierce, and the get out of class is the most fierce. Click It returned home, Dad is the most fierce, and every day I hit me with a nose and swollen face Dads are not there, my mother is the most fierce, and the tutoring assignment never relax P. Mom leaves, Lao Tzu is the most fierce, Turn the box and pour the cabinet, and drink a cup if you want to drink a cup.
Classic jokes: liked by ghosts, have you thought about it? I remember that morning, I got on the bus, and inadvertently, I saw a female classmate from the left camp of the school. I glanced at her and was immediately attracted by her. Only big eyes. When I stared at her, she was discovered inadvertently, so we both bowed their heads embarrassed. So in the future, I will definitely take the time to get on the bus when she is in school every day in order to look at her. After almost a week or so, strange things happened and did not see her every day.
has passed two weeks, and I saw her again, but this time it was indeed a godless eyes and pale her. What's even more strange, she did not actually be in the left camp. Get off at North Station (usually here), the same situation in the future.
One day, I finished mathematics and went to eat a meal, so it was more than eight o'clock, so I went to wait for the bus. After a while, the bus came. Seeing the girl again, sitting at the end expressionlessly, I was too tired, and I fell asleep when I sat down. Suddenly, I woke up from my sleep and felt that my breathing was not smooth. I could only open my eyes slightly, and I couldn't call it. I was scared. I simply closed my eyes. Essence
I faintly selling it, I want to go off, so I get daring and fight my eyes, it is okay, but one thing makes me stupid. I saw a man. Holding the female classmate, she was struggling and calling. What was outrageous was that the driver didn't look back, so I ran to the driver that someone was fighting behind him. The two of us looked back at the same time. The hair was straight. I saw that female classmate and sat in the back and stably, looking at me with a strange look, and the man had long gone, and I suddenly scattered, so I called the driver to park, I rushed out of the car and desperately ran to my house. Suddenly, I saw a person in front of a person, a pale face, vomiting, no, she was just in front of me, my legs were soft and kneeling to the ground, Close your eyes and read it. I will give it to what you want! I have no grievances and no revenge, why bother? The strange thing is that when I finished reading, the fear disappeared, and I broke away from her eyes. She was gone.
The next Sunday, I suddenly thought about it, I wanted to check it, so I asked a few friends to ask together, I have painted her face) A friend asked When she got up a few weeks ago, she was strangled by a man on the bus. When I heard the matter, I accidentally sweated again.
is at night. I dare not go out at home. Suddenly I heard someone go upstairs, and it was a cold sweat. Strangely, I seemed to see her, and I didn't see it. I couldn't do it. I felt that she walked to me, shed tears, and said something like nothing, but I could understand it. The intention is as follows: "I'm sorry! Make your spirit hit! When I was still alive, I saw you for the first time, but I now like you, but I am now ..." Suddenly, I suddenly recovered Sober, since then, no matter during the day, late night, on the road, on the bus. I never saw this girl again ... I wrote this, cold sweat and DC, I would never forget this adventure.
Classic jokes: Miaoyu secretly secretly corrupt officials and corrupt officials, money and weighing, and Xiaoyao is self -racing.
The ten layers of heart armor inside, there is a wall circle cover, the back is not moved by the mountain, and the top of the top of the head of the head protects the umbrella.
It greedy to Shangqingtian, punish greedy and sad ghost gate.
The thieves can take care of the heart armor. The thief can drill the wall.
This to attack the show with poison, Miaoyu thieves corrupt officials!
I I would like the thief to return to correction, and group a thieves
Classic jokes: The "friendship" of corrupt officials is too tired, the lady is too expensive, and friendship interaction is the most affordable. Nothing to open the "Classmate Club", dismantle a pair of one pair of
Classic jokes: There are various loves in the ten kinds of love legends of the Westward Journey. , Five Poison All ... I divide it into five multiplications in two types, one by one:
The love for Bai Jingjing in the Supreme Treasure
Said from seeing Bai Jingjing at the first glance, one of the Supreme Treasure. It had already flooded, and the feelings beside the cliffs sublimated, and they made a promise of an eternal life. They were finally dismissed by the Niu Devil King. In this line of love in the lines of "big words": "On the night when the dark wind is gloomy, I am a Supreme Treasure, and you are Bai Jingjing. As soon as you turn around, you suddenly point to me, and I get angry with my whole hand. You have to rush over and fight hard desperately. Do you see it? I can describe it in the future development in the future, because suddenly a cattle demon king was killed suddenly.
, I also caught me back to Panshi Cave. The so -called time is like an arrow, which is really good at all, because it is the point in a blink of an eye. When the rock top is the emotional outbreak, I touched you regardless of everything, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you I also touched me regardless of everything, and I also made an oath of never separating. Unfortunately, happiness is always short, in exchange for endless pain and sigh, why do you see it? I only used Moonlight Baojin to make time. Found the truth, and finally I found that you were suicide! At the last moment, I finally rescued you! But the last time I had a fault in the back of the time, and I returned to five hundred years ago ... … That's it. "This love is no result, because Supreme Bao has changed his heart, so Supreme Bao is really a sanctification.
The love of Supreme Treasure and Zixia Fairy — has fate and no type
This is also the most touching love story in the "big words", a love story at the end of tragedy. Supreme Treasure came five hundred years ago, and Zixia ordered three hemorrhoids to pull out the Ziqing Baojian. This fate seemed to be in the sky, but God is destined to be together forever. The tears indicate the tragedy of tragedy. result. Supreme Bao said the most beautiful lies to Zixia, so it was not his sincerity, but when he saw it. When he couldn't recover in the tears in his heart, he understood that this is exactly: this situation can be remembered, but it was just at that time.
The two sisters of the two family and spring — the wedding type of Fengzi
. Although the second family said, "I care so much when I am so critical, I love you 10,000 Nian Bu 'but Sister Spring Thirty Sister, but after giving birth to Tang Seng, I called the second family as Xianggong (also called his nanny, ha ha).
Thenters to cover the sky with one hand and marry the sister to Supreme Bao. In fact, this is also a misunderstanding, because Supreme Bao was not Sun Wukong at that time, but it also made Xiangxiang drooling.
Sun Wukong and Princess Iron Fan — extramarital affairs
The words in my heart, I think the original Sun Wukong really spent, even the iron fan princess also likes it, maybe the taste is too bad? Maybe it is Each has its own good, and Sun Wukong still speaks very well, such as the Princess of Tieyuan as Xiaotian, haha!
n The cattle demon king marry Zixia as his wife. Princess Iron Fan likes Sun Wukong, a small white face, but the lunar demon king is still a little afraid of his wife, but it is still the power of the cattle demon king.
Sun Wukong and Bai Jingjing -Randy Give Moosure
Sun Wukong, 500 years ago, is really a big heart and cheated the feelings of Jingjing. Putting on Sun Wukong's body, Sun Wukong's relationship with Bai Jingjing is very similar to Jin Snake Lang Junxia Xueyi's feelings for He Hongyao.
R n This pair is reminiscent of Wei Xiaobao and Princess Jianning in "Lu Ding Ji". When Xiangxiang and the sand monk exchange their bodies, Xiangxiang said, "Brother! (Being a punch by a monk) It is so manly! (One fist again) I like it! "What do you say is not Xiuyun?
Suro and blind man -homosexual type
The blind man said, "(Care) (as intimacy) People are obsessed with you! "Hehe, it is really a numb. When the Supreme Treasure looks at Bai Jingjing, the most painful crying is of course the blind man who is deeply affectionate. The happiest pair of "big talk", with the best ending, can also be said to be the last life of Supreme Treasure and Zixia. It cannot be together at time, and the world can last forever when the world is in the world. The love story of "big words" still ended with a long time, exactly:
The shuttle time and space to meet each other. Fairy.
Classic jokes: There is a man in the wardrobe-when he goes home to find a man in the wardrobe. R n stupid-enthusiastically treat the man, drink tea with him, chat, and told him to play often in the future. The month has come to visit the wardrobe 5 times. . When he was gone, he borrowed 500 yuan from me. Fortunately-the man is tall and big, if you just do it, the fierce is good. Fortunately! The comfort-first cursing him why he didn't suffocate in the wardrobe, and then punched and kicked the air for a while to vent his anger. Time flashed with waist. Lucky-picking one socks left by the man in the wardrobe, it is the color that I like. I unfortunately-why can't I find the other. Revenge-Spray a lot of tricks in the wardrobe. Mistakes-I accidentally inhaled the drugs, and I was unconscious for two days. I was deducted. The door locks, knocking on the door for a long time, no one opens the door. . After entering the door, go straight to the closet and find something. An accident-lying another man lying in the cabinet is the manager of our company. Dialogue-how the manager is in our house? The manager went to our house to inspect your life! Then what did he say? Small, too boring, you can consider the company's appropriation and repair a little After the manager left, he searched for a long time in the wardrobe, and confirmed that the old boy didn't leave anything. Opportunities-the manager was going to meet that day, and the manager's wife asked me to go to her house. The calculation-the manager returned in advance, and suddenly remembered that my wife returned to her mother's house today, and the manager's "meeting" could not be opened. -In the wardrobe of the manager's house, it seems to be patronized. ----In the wardrobe of the manager's house, see two colleagues. Consensus-we agree that the wardrobe of the manager's house is really good , Big and spacious, air It's not bad, it's okay to hide a few more people. E admiration-the manager opened the wardrobe to see us, but just wrote a word: "How, 3 people today." understands-finally know why people are managers, but we are just we are just a manager, but we are just we are just a manager, but we are just we are just a manager, but we are just we are, but we are just we are just a manager, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are. Small employees, look at the measurement of others.
Classic joke: Mrs. Portrait a wife wanted to draw a portrait, and her husband found her the best painter. When she sat down, she made a request to draw her necklaces, earrings, headwear, etc., and in fact she did not wear these gold and silver jewelry.
The painter agreed, but asked, "Why do you want to do this?"
The wife replied: "In case, you know, I may be better than me than me. Husband died early. At that time, he would marry again, and let his new wife find these treasures! "
Classic jokes: Dogs and husbands and husbands complained:" Dear, you, you, you Give my name to our puppy so that I will often make mistakes. "
" I won't, my voice is particularly kind when it is called a dog. "
Classic jokes: Children should not listen to Dad's story before going to bed to sleep .....
Daddy: "In the past, there was a frog ..."
Tom: "Dad, I don't want to listen to fairy tales today, can I tell science fiction stories?"
Dad: "Okay, in space, there is a frog ... "
Tom:" Forget it, Dad, can you talk about restricted levels in order to celebrate my 8th birthday? "
Daddy:" Okay! Mom knows. There is a frog without clothes ... "
Classic joke: embarrassing level is embarrassing when he is in a friend's house: I want to stool Embarrassing things: After stool, I found that there is no hand paper The embarrassing thing when I was in a friend's house: the stool could not be rushed The most embarrassing thing when I was in a friend's house: the stool could not rush down, the water still overflowed the pool
Classic jokes: Imagine a man who is pregnant for several men to meet, without shaking hands without saluting, not to cigarette, but just patting the other person's belly, asking, "How many months? When is the due date? "
If one day, men can really bred offspring in their bodies. What is our society? At that time, even in ordinary families, couples could change their role. In the family of four, the boss was born to his mother, but the second child was born in October. If the couple are willing, they can even get pregnant at the same time. During the pregnancy, do n’t you often complain that the husband cannot be considerate and do n’t know how to care? At that time, there was absolutely no need to worry about. Which husband would not take care of his wife during pregnancy, then let him be pregnant once!
The couples will participate in pre -maternity training courses together, go to the hospital for fetal position examination, give the children prenatal education together, and finally lie in the delivery room for delivery. At that time, the hospital would not have "obstetrics and gynecology", but should be "gynecology", "husband" and "obstetrics". The "obstetrics" are divided into men and women like toilets. When the doctor put on the gloves and prepared the equipment, when everything was ready to take birth, the nurse opened the clothes of pregnant women and scared it first --- it turned out to be a "pregnant husband".
The child was born, and the couple took the confinement together, took maternity leave together, and breastfeed the child together. The last point is still difficult for men, but I believe that drugs such as various types of milk at that time will emerge and will be sold well. When the child grows up, the admission is taught, and it is slightly different when filling in the application form. In addition to the father and mother, another "producer" needs to be added to show the difference. But when the children were in school, the first lesson was in trouble. The first raw word and the first new word taught by the school is "Dad" and "Mom". Although only two words, no matter how the teacher explains, the child does not understand. Because for them, the "dad" and "mom" in the family are not different from other looks. This lesson may only be supplemented after they grow up and have a little understanding of the physiological differences between men and women. Some friends may think that I am nonsense, and I am idiot to say daydreaming.
. Please do not forget that society is developing. If a primitive person picks up a pair of new trendy wire cushion sneakers, he may use it to give it food, or it may be given it as a fixing token to a decent token. Lover, it does not necessarily put it on his feet. Perhaps at that time, we often met such a scene on the street or daily living at home: two men met, did not shake hands, did not salute, or smoke, but just patted each other's big belly and asked, "A few months When is the due date? "Or in the early morning, after the couple got up, the one said," It's late, it's late! We will give you a prenatal examination at nine o'clock. " The mirror said in a hurry: "Then you have to wait for me to scrape the beard!
Classic jokes: You are Wulong and Lao Zheng are a good friend. One day, Pharaoh was scolded by his wife, and he did not dare to refute; Lao Zheng knew the jokes : "Hey, you are a man of a man, and he is afraid of his wife; , but my wife saw me, just like seeing a tiger! " Mori's wife heard this in the house, and ran out of anger, holding the ear of Lao Zheng , and drinking: " What are you tigers? " " Lao Zheng was paralyzed, and said," You ... you are Wu Song! " "
classic jokes: vomiting boss, the second child took a plane, the second child faint, and vomiting non -stop. The people were constantly vomiting. The boss asked the reason, the second child said, "I saw that the bag was full, and had to drink half a bag again, but they vomited all. "
classic jokes: Leading drinking the revolutionary wine is drunk every day, drinking the party style and drinking the stomach; N's wife goes to the Commission for Discipline Inspection. The Commission for Discipline Inspection said: The is not right to drink or not, we are also drunk every day. The girl suddenly scolded a gentle Bai Jingyou: "Rogue! "It seems that the guy's hands and feet are not honest. The guy is very aggrieved and immediately refutes. The two sides began to scold. In a little, listen to the girl scolding," You are a gangster, you have been a hooligan since childhood, your mother just gave birth to When you come out, you don't forget to look back. "After listening to the passenger full of car, the crow was silent, and they made a hilarious.
my colleagues shook their heads and said that for the first time, he saw that scolding can scold this. People can be enemy. After the guy was scolded, he opened his mouth and couldn't say a word.
Is we listened, and we lamented that this scolding was really a long -term scolding, probably before there were no ancients, no later no one came, no one came. Those who say that there are indeed no more scolding words that can be used to fight back.
In suddenly listening to the man's loud saying: "You are a big hooligan! You are still in your mother's belly and watch your dad three times a day! "
A woman went to work at night, and a man followed the picture. The woman was afraid, passing by the graveyard, and a clever movement. He said to the grave: Dad, I came back and opened the door. The man was afraid, and he yelled at him. The woman was at ease and was about to leave. Suddenly, the sound of gloom came from the grave: Girl, you forgot to bring the key again. The woman was horrified and fled. At this time, a grave robbing was drilled from the grave: Damn, delay my work and scare you! The words of the grave robbing just fell, and found that an old man was holding a chisel to engraved the tombstone, curious, asked, and the old man said angrily, NND, they carved my name wrong ... The fear of the grave robbing, wowed to flee. The old man sneered: "Damn, dare to grab the business with me, and still tender ..." As he said, accidentally chisel fell to the ground, the old man was about to pick up, bending down, and found a chisel holding in the grass. In his hand, the old man was surprised, and suddenly a voice said, "You are looking for death! Change my house number!". The old man fart rolled down and rolled down the hillside! At this time, a person who picks up the waste climb out of the grass. Always call.
The demon king: [Although you call the throat ... No one will come to save you ...]
Broken throat ..]
No one: "Princess .. I have come to save you ..."
R n Cao Cao: "Demon King .. What are you called me ..."
Demon King: "Wow .. See ghost"
Ghost: "Damn!"
led by: "Ghost, you see me ..."
R n God: "Who calls me?"
Who: "No one calls you ..."
No one ? Put the garlic! "
garlic:" Who pretended me? "
Who:" Say me? "
troubles: "Which one is looking for me?"
Which one: "Looking for you? I don't ... oh, there are many people here."
"I just arrived. Who are you?"
Which one is: "I am not."
Who: "He is not me."
Princess: "Are you here to save me?"
everyone: "I'm not here to save you, come to see the lively."
Lumine: "What are I good -looking?"
God: "It's not my business, go first."
, Why do so many people save the princess? How do I play this demon king? "
down:" Your good devil is not doing it, what do you do? "
: "If there is no one played by the devil, I can leave."
No one: "If I play the demon king, how can I let you go ..." Will: "I won't let the princess go, I want to see the excitement."
The lively: "What do you do?" I? Rogue! "
You actually:" How can I have it? "
I I:" What is the matter of me? "
"Damn! I'm going crazy ..."
depends on: "What do you call me!"
crazy: "You want me to do What? "
do you want me:" I don't know anything ㄚ! "
I didn't:" I do n’t know! "
What I know: "I'm here Alas! Is someone calling me? "
Some people:" I didn't call you! "
I I did not:" Who called him? "
Who: "Unjust ... I don't ..."
I I don't have: "I don’t have to wrong you ..."
"Forgive you, dare not dare."
Forgive you: "Who said I dare not!?"
Who: "Please ... I didn't say anything. "
It nothing:" What do you want me to say? "
It nothing:" ... you ... you are not just that I have lost for many years Brother? "
I my brothers who have been lost for many years:" Torture ... my name is so long ... "
Who: "... I want to leave this right and wrong place"
right and wrong: "It turns out that this is my territory ..." n No
Shanglian: The wind is shaving, the rain is down, I am waiting for you to call back. Xialian: Live for you, die for you, and wait for you for a lifetime. Horizontal batch: the wrong person.
I heard that a toad was rolled out by the car in Taihu Lake today. I have been worried about it and send you a text message immediately. If you are still alive, please reply to me!
This on the rivers and lakes know that you are strong in martial arts, but you can't be proud. There are swords in people, there are people in the sword, and the swords are combined. people! Swordsman! Swordsman!
The hard work like a bee, beautiful like a butterfly, loyalty like a puppy, well -behaved like a kitten, thick like old cow, mighty like a tiger, no wonder others call you ... Beast!
is a gust of gust, it is so eternal; it is a dream, it is so real; if you bow your head, I can't help say to you, " Say a fart first! "
If there is no wind, the cloud will not move; if there is no water, the fish cannot swim; if there is no sun, there will be no light; if there is no you ... stupid people ... There is no existence of
I is a lonely tree. I stand on the side of the road for thousands of years, waiting lonely, just to go from me when you walk from me one day, dump it for you, If you can't smash it, you can live in vain.
The beggar begging the monkeys along the street. His named monkey smiled and laughed. The monkey cried and cried.
The days of you participated in the game, I saw you with a volley, and the goalkeeper hadn't responded yet, and the ball scored! We all applauded and cheered for you, you got up, patted his butt and said: Damn, the ground is too slippery!
Is when you pick up the mirror, look at your round face, high nose, charming eyes, sexy mouth, blessed ears, you will sigh loudly ---- Pig what!
The aquarius to the old dragon king wishes his birthday. During the meeting, the tortoise prime minister took out a thing from his arms, looked at it, and put it back again. Dragon King asked: What is the Turtle Prime Minister? Shrimp Bing Crab will quickly answer: Pharaoh received a text message again.
The friend thought about countless friends, thinking about it, only you are the coolest, find you thousands of hundreds in dreams, and look back, you are still being borne in the depths of the donkey shed, cruel! cruel! After reading the information, anger!
In the time of time tomorrow afternoon? I want to find you, can you pick me up at the station? But I'm afraid that people are not good at admitting. You make your head into an explosion, holding a wooden stick in your right hand, and contacting me with a porcelain bowl with your left hand.
I dreamed of you. You use Baiyun to make clothes, borrow your wings from the birds, insert a broom behind your butt, and then swords to me, and tell me affection: Do you know? The birdman looks like this.
The thought that there was better, and then I realized that the best thing was to be around, just like you. At first, it was not because of it. Over time, I found that you are the best ... bullying!
You to travel to Xishuangna, Yunnan, and encountered a group of wild boar siege on the way. Passengers took out food, money, wild boars were not moved, you took out the only ID card, the group pigs kneeling and crying and crying. : Boss, we can find you!
It you are a 10 -footed person, and often play with 9, 8 do not have hundreds of millions of dollars, abandon 7 years of disregard, 6 days day, look for prey, 5 ask more, and 4 Sex does not change, and 3 hearts and 2 intentions, you 1 must not be a good person.
"Tiger read the Three Kingdoms, and grabbed the wild boar. Seeing that there was no pig in the pig nest, he touched the beard and said: empty city plan!" Turning around and seeing a dead pig on the beast clip, he was shocked: bitterness! Suddenly I saw you again, Da Xi: 嗬 嗬, and beauty!
This pursuing the swan, and the swan said disdain: If you grow up like this, you will die! Toad is dissatisfied: What about the pigs still live well? After listening, I felt wronged: Who I recruited, I just watched text messages!
has a kind of thought called soul and dreaming, there is a kind of love called white head to old, there is a kind of beauty called Hua Rongyue appearance, there is an agreement called the old land, there is a greeting called the piglet!
I I don't want to keep alone, I also want to have it, walking on the street, handsome male and beautiful hands holding hands, but I hold the right hand with my left hand, now I have no need to ask for you, I just want to go out with you, I just want to go out with you. Well, I am afraid that friends will say: Do n’t slip a dog.
The days I missed the days when we took a walk together. The folks praise you so beautiful and cute. The folks also praise me to be smart and good, and come out to put pigs at such a young age.
Is when you are empty and lonely, watermelon may be your best vent. You can use a knife to cut it, cut it, cut it, split it, and you can shout loudly at the same time: I kill melon , I kill melon, I kill melon!
1 "Xintian Queen" sang rock in the dormitory: "I want to change, I want to change ..." Is it empty? "
Thinking you, it is what I have to do every day. Seeing you, it is what I dream of you, love you, it is my life, waiting for you, it is me, it is me, it is me, it is me, it is me I have been doing things. Lying you is just happening.
The Buddha said: 500 times in the previous life looked at this life in this life. I used the previous life of 1000 to look back in this life and met you in this life, just to ask you: Why did it say: Why do you say that with my family Dog grabbing bones.
The understand that a person must observe from many angles, just like you, look like a neuropathy from the bottom, look like a 2005 from the side, look like an idiot from a 30 -degree angle, from the 60 -degree angle angle, from the 60 -degree angle corner Looking like a pig's head, look, I know more about you.
If a drop of water represents a blessing, I will send you a South China Sea. If a star represents a happiness, I will send you a galaxy. I can't believe you.
I I wish you all the way to go all the way and disappear halfway; I wish you a smile and laughing; I wish you happy every day and cramps; I wish you all the best and touch the wall everywhere.
1. SMS about the mobile phone Emergency reminder: I am afraid that there is a lightning phenomenon recently. Please put the phone on your head and plug it in the charger to drag it behind it. Remember!
The mobile phone calls for free phone call: Press 54sg before the second bell when there is a phone call.
This is a well -designed text message. Looking up and down your phone upside down, will you enjoy the wonderful pattern ... Is the phone turned upside down?
In research on Massachusetts University of Science and Technology in the United States, soaking the phone in the water for 1 minute before playing mobile phones can completely avoid the radiation of electromagnetic waves on the human brain. Remember!
Dear users: Hello! Because your mobile phone has an ugly appearance and outdated style, it has seriously affected the appearance of the city and hindered the development of the mobile communication business. This station decided to launch a signal to destroy the phone after 10 minutes!
If you receive this information and prove that your mobile phone has been infected with the virus, please take out your mobile phone card and use gasoline to brush.
2, SMS about the fool
The is wood that is made of furniture. The news is genius, and the text message is stupid!
This standing on the balcony that day, you enjoy the drizzle and think of the bumpy life. Your face is wet and a sour and astringent taste is rain or tears. You look up at the sky.
The people across the country are the best, riding the bench on the moon; you can blow the best in the world, and you do n’t use a cup to drink tanks; What are you, the Nobel Prize is waiting for you!
The life in life is full of infinite vitality; there are you along the way, what are you afraid of electric lightning strikes; just because of you, happiness and satisfaction are overflowing; if there is no you, then good pigs Who should you feed?
Note: Standing in front of the mirror, holding the chin with your hands, blinking three times in a row, blinking three times in a row, and a blink of a smile on your face, you will faintly see a vaguely Fools are facing the mirror with a charming eye!
has worked silently in the film industry for many years, and the bitterness of them is the best one. However, your efforts have finally been recognized by people, and have been nominated by the Golden Bird Award: Best Animal Star
On this month of this month, Chang'e said to me: She is going to find it to find You, make beauty for you, let you restore the original beauty! are you ready? Pig, don't read text messages, ask you!
This flowers bloom in spring, it is your smile; the sun in the summer is your enthusiasm; the fruit of autumn is familiar, it is your harvest; hehe! Puppies, so you can sleep with peace of mind!
Goku, you wipe the glass; sand monks, you can drag the floor; eight precepts, the master knows your situation very well, after repeated consideration, decide to give you an opportunity to perform -you finish this After the text message, go to the toilet quickly.
is a real gold, never afraid of the fierce flame; it is green pine, never afraid of the long and severe cold; it is Haiyan, never afraid to cut through the lightning of the sky; Intersection
It reportedly reported that Izi Kok was armed on the wall of the Baghdad City wall, causing a large number of U.S. soldiers to vomit. After the UN investigation, it is confirmed that this is a large -scale killing weapon. You can escape.
I love you, I love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, I love you Snow in Saibei. Sorry, the stuck.
It people see you today. You are still so charming, wearing grid vests, walking slowly, a super -comfortable look, it's really cute, I really don’t know how you spend the rabbit that year. of?
is okay! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! Just tell you that it's okay, you still press a fart!
"I can't see me when I jump into the grass. The pig said: I want to see it?" So he jumped into the grass. The pig is watching, the pig is watching! The pig is still watching! Why are the pigs still watching? Intersection
The sound came from the valley, I looked down, and found you in the corner of the mountain, it was you! It's really you! You are with a old man, and I ran over and said: Uncle, borrowed
for the first time to see you, I felt like I had already known. If you are sure, you may not believe it, but this is true, you are really like my family ... the lost pig!
It if a star fell down tonight, please do not worry. This is a gift I give you the immortal. From then on, you will live a carefree happy life Because "stupid.
In someone says you are a pig! I criticized him seriously! How can I do this? How can people look like what they look like?
Please don't look down again, shut it up, there is really nothing good, please, really want to see? No regrets? Well, this is what you ask for yourself? Intersection You are a pig!
The meteor shower tonight. I heard that there will be a big pig flying through the sky. Unfortunately, I want to sleep, you just, so many people watch you fly!
I played a gamble with my friends yesterday. I said: There is no stupid one in the world than pigs. As a result, I lost. It turned out that this was blame you
Is when the Tang monk took three apprentices to rest a little, Tang Seng went to the pig Bajie to look at it angrily: "You pig's head, there is still leisurely watching the shortness of shortness to see the shortness of shortness. Information! "
The God knows that you are thirsty, created water, God knows you are hungry, created rice, God knows that you have no cute friend, so I created me, but God also knows in this world No fool, by the way, created you.
The people said to me, "Your smart piglets" I was furious after listening! Intersection I know you! Intersection Such an insult! I'm so sorry for pigs! Intersection Intersection Intersection A emperor said: As long as you send text messages to ten fools before April Fool's Day, you will be happy every day. Oh my god, I only know you one! The Jade Emperor said, "It doesn't matter, he is high, one top ten. In the vast sea of people, when you receive this sincere blessing, please use your whole body to hit your head into the wall. There are countless stars in front of your eyes, which is my blessing. wants to go to see the sea with you, but I can't grasp the unpredictable future; if you want to climb with you, you are full of ideals; you want to go with you Wandering, but can't reach a happy paradise; if you want to go shopping with you, you meet the police and say: Do not bring a puppy not every flower can represent love, but the roses have done it; Live thirst, but Bai Yang did it; not every pig can receive text messages, but you did it! people and everyone Everyone Hangren Pig Renren Renren everyone Renren人人人人人人人人rnrn在茫茫人海中我一眼就认出你来了～～ rn告诉你，我想到一件事情很好笑！等下……先Let me laugh, haha, I really can't help it, a little pig is watching the text message I sent, haha Do you remember that we eat roast duck together? You like to eat duck buttocks, the vegetables have just come up, You grabbed the mouth like an arrow. I whispered: Why don't you see the duck butt? You pointed at your mouth very proudly: the butt is here. . Remember that you waited for the bus at the station that day, see a PPMM Staring at you with a smile, you feel good at yourself, and you're a few laps. At this time, the aunt next to you said, "Little guy, don't step on the shit and walk around? " This created water because of seeing the thirst and seeing the darkness of the world, and it created a fire. God saw that I needed a friend, so you appeared, so ... God lost his meal The barrel.
5. Time is really amazing. Because the sun ions have been too strong recently, there is no signaling in the hand in the sun. Block the sun! Remember, the higher the better!
8. Since ancient times, a mathematical formula is right (a = b, b = c) so A = C, you = Animals , Animal = pig, so you = pig!
The little fart goes to the sister to play. … Let's talk about the start. I took my girlfriend home to play in the summer vacation of that year. After a day of passion, I took a bath. I was beautiful. The door was open. My sister came to my house to find something (my sister had a spare key for my house ( > _ u003C), I let my girlfriend say nothing, and then wash it. My sister turned the box to see that I was still taking a bath for a long time. It is strange. It is said that you usually take a bath with wet heads and not wet feet. I said in pain, um, don't you have to wash your girlfriend today? ... My sister laughed twice and left the door. (↑ o ↑) ...
It another one, when I go to the farmhouse with my girlfriend, I have nothing to pull my hands to the field of the field at night. Under the setting sun, the wind rolled the clouds, the transportation of the Mo Mo, the chickens and dogs smell each other, the insects are crying, and a rural scenery! Intersection When I arrived at the small pond, it was dark and the moon was bright. Suddenly I felt very much. I strongly asked my girlfriend to be good at the spot. My girlfriend couldn't stand the temptation of me, and I was shameful. Then I hugged the straw and hugged a small bed, hugged some, my girlfriend said, no, too hard. I had to hold the wolf ambition and then hugged. I don't want to sit up in the straw pile suddenly! Intersection I was so scared that I almost gone away! Intersection He coughed, buddy, hug less, or we panicked. (> _ u003C) ...
saying a matter of my friend. At that time, when we went to high school, a friend of a school accommodation fell in love when he was in high school. The person is a master. Essence Essence Essence Once I took a multimedia class, we watched the Movie Mother's Notre Dame. Because the English teacher arranged the sense of view, everyone looked seriously. The teacher went to the toilet halfway, and when he came back, he actually used the lights to turn on the lights. As a result, I found that my buddies who were sitting in the first row were not normal with her girlfriend. Take a closer look. My buddy was touched by his girlfriend. The girl was teased and her face was crimson. The teacher yelled! Intersection What are you doing. Intersection Intersection Intersection Intersection Intersection The quiet. Essence Essence Essence Essence Essence Id my buddy smiled softly. Oh, there is a bug on her leg, she is afraid, I will help her get it. The teacher is speechless. Essence Essence Essence Essence Essence
I a few friends who belong to entertainment students in the university. Everything takes joy as the standard, just as I am the president of our literature society to see more about the president of our student union (俺 俺The president is a rare mature beauty ...). In 2005, you still have an impression, always promoting advanced education! The slogan of the banner is full of the street. The blackboard promotional column at the door of our teaching building was written. One day I went to post the activity notice of our literature society. After the change, it was cool and laughed. Live 3 days. The propaganda department changed the slogan to: advanced education! I didn't take it for granted, and called a word: advanced sex education! Intersection Intersection Hey ... entertainment first, although it was almost caught by the propaganda department.
It another one, mine, after being drunk, the brain only turned, very uncomfortable. Suddenly there is urine, but I can't find my toilet (hey, weird only blame the construction of the public in our country for the end of it ...). At first, I ended up with my buddy. Later, I couldn't help it, so I was going to find a remote place for convenience. turns several bends, and I find a small place vaguely, which is very remote. I am very cherished. Take out JJ and hush. Essence Essence Essence Essence Suddenly two pairs of eyes looked at me with two pairs of eyes. Essence Essence Essence Essence Essence I was scared that I was almost incontinence. Is who only look at a pair of students look at me with incredible eyes. . When I saw that the spring light had been leaked, I continued simply. and then whistled away. Essence Essence Essence Essence Essence Essence Essence The articles are taken from wanderers
. A beautiful woman, decided to make a lot of money and let herself lose weight. After spending more than 100,000 yuan, she feels very satisfied! n When I bought a newspaper, when she was looking for money, she asked the boss: "Sorry, how old do you guess me?"
The boss said: 32. She is so happy: 47!
. Then she went to sell as a labor. Ask the lady in the counter the same question. Miss said: I guess 29. I. She is so happy: No, 47!
This is high, she goes to the unified supermarket in the corner of the street to buy baolu gum, and she can't help but ask the counter lady there. Miss said: Well, I guess 30. She is so proud: 47, thank you!
When I was waiting for the bus, she asked the old man next to him. The old man said: I am 78 years old, my eyes are not good, and I can't see it. However, there are ways to be sure when you are young. If you let me put my hand into your bra, I can definitely know your age!
In a while for a while, she finally couldn't help curious on the empty street: Okay! Try it. The old man put his hand into her shirt, and then put into her bra, and began to explore slowly and carefully.
In a few minutes, she said: Okay, how old do you guess me? The old man squeezed the last one and took it out. Say: Ms., you are 47 years old.
The beauty was shocked and asked in surprise: What a good! How do you know?
"Guaranteed not to be angry?" "Not angry!" The old man's answer made the beauty faint: n The old man said: I am behind you
Classic joke: 1 1 =? One day, the teacher asked Xiaomin: "1 1 = What?" He said, "I don't know." "Go to ask the family." The teacher said. Xiaomin returned home and asked his mother: "1 1 = How much?" Mom said impatiently: "You roll out for me !!!!!!!!" Xiao Min went to ask his father again, his father was watching the game, just a good one The ball scored, "It's cool !!!" He asked his brother again. The brother was falling in love and said to his girlfriend on the phone, "I'm waiting for you downstairs." The teacher asked Xiaomin: 1 1 = How many? "He said," You roll it out for me !!!!!!!!!!! "The teacher slapped him. He said, "It's cool !!!" The teacher said: "You roll it out for me !!!!!!!!!" Xiaomin said: "I'm waiting for you downstairs !!!"
Classic jokes: The girls in our hospital turned around for the girls, and the secretary of the secretary jumped back to the girls of our hospital.
Classic jokes: Birthday gift Wife on his birthday, the husband bought a pair of jewelry for his wife, and his wife watched the jewelry of this value. After watching, the wife said, "Dear, if you, if you Isn't it more affordable to buy me a Mercedes -Benz sedan? "
" Yeah, "the husband said," Unfortunately, the Mercedes -Benz sedan is not fake now! "
A family of love is in a new house. Everyone wants the groom and groom to talk about how to get married. The bride shyly said, "We are free in love." The groom quickly added: "Yes, it is free love, I gave all the savings of more than ten years to your mother, so that you can get free." R. n
Classic jokes: For one day, a handsome guy and pretty girl in northern Jiangsu met. After a classic "obedient deaf hole, leek fried green onions", the handsome guy took out a player with a player and played with the pretty girl:
Little handsome guy: QQK? (Talk about it)
Qiao girl: Q45? (What to talk about)
The handsome guy: Q21! (Fall in love)
Qiao girl: 8Q! Intersection (Don't talk)
$%...!
The train is about to stand, the little handsome guy does not give up, so he takes out the poker card again:
Little handsome guy: 3QQK? (Let's talk about it again)
Qiao girl: 948Q! Intersection Intersection (Just don't talk about)
The handsome guy: -%￥ ...)
Classic jokes: The confession of a middle school student is in my heart, the teacher is the most fierce, and the get out of class is the most fierce. Click
It returned home, Dad is the most fierce, and every day I hit me with a nose and swollen face
Dads are not there, my mother is the most fierce, and the tutoring assignment never relax
P. Mom leaves, Lao Tzu is the most fierce, Turn the box and pour the cabinet, and drink a cup if you want to drink a cup.
Classic jokes: liked by ghosts, have you thought about it? I remember that morning, I got on the bus, and inadvertently, I saw a female classmate from the left camp of the school. I glanced at her and was immediately attracted by her. Only big eyes. When I stared at her, she was discovered inadvertently, so we both bowed their heads embarrassed. So in the future, I will definitely take the time to get on the bus when she is in school every day in order to look at her. After almost a week or so, strange things happened and did not see her every day.
has passed two weeks, and I saw her again, but this time it was indeed a godless eyes and pale her. What's even more strange, she did not actually be in the left camp. Get off at North Station (usually here), the same situation in the future.
One day, I finished mathematics and went to eat a meal, so it was more than eight o'clock, so I went to wait for the bus. After a while, the bus came. Seeing the girl again, sitting at the end expressionlessly, I was too tired, and I fell asleep when I sat down. Suddenly, I woke up from my sleep and felt that my breathing was not smooth. I could only open my eyes slightly, and I couldn't call it. I was scared. I simply closed my eyes. Essence
I faintly selling it, I want to go off, so I get daring and fight my eyes, it is okay, but one thing makes me stupid. I saw a man. Holding the female classmate, she was struggling and calling. What was outrageous was that the driver didn't look back, so I ran to the driver that someone was fighting behind him. The two of us looked back at the same time. The hair was straight. I saw that female classmate and sat in the back and stably, looking at me with a strange look, and the man had long gone, and I suddenly scattered, so I called the driver to park, I rushed out of the car and desperately ran to my house. Suddenly, I saw a person in front of a person, a pale face, vomiting, no, she was just in front of me, my legs were soft and kneeling to the ground, Close your eyes and read it. I will give it to what you want! I have no grievances and no revenge, why bother? The strange thing is that when I finished reading, the fear disappeared, and I broke away from her eyes. She was gone.
The next Sunday, I suddenly thought about it, I wanted to check it, so I asked a few friends to ask together, I have painted her face) A friend asked When she got up a few weeks ago, she was strangled by a man on the bus. When I heard the matter, I accidentally sweated again.
is at night. I dare not go out at home. Suddenly I heard someone go upstairs, and it was a cold sweat. Strangely, I seemed to see her, and I didn't see it. I couldn't do it. I felt that she walked to me, shed tears, and said something like nothing, but I could understand it. The intention is as follows: "I'm sorry! Make your spirit hit! When I was still alive, I saw you for the first time, but I now like you, but I am now ..." Suddenly, I suddenly recovered Sober, since then, no matter during the day, late night, on the road, on the bus. I never saw this girl again ... I wrote this, cold sweat and DC, I would never forget this adventure.
Classic jokes: Miaoyu secretly secretly corrupt officials and corrupt officials, money and weighing, and Xiaoyao is self -racing.
The ten layers of heart armor inside, there is a wall circle cover, the back is not moved by the mountain, and the top of the top of the head of the head protects the umbrella.
It greedy to Shangqingtian, punish greedy and sad ghost gate.
The thieves can take care of the heart armor. The thief can drill the wall.
This to attack the show with poison, Miaoyu thieves corrupt officials!
I I would like the thief to return to correction, and group a thieves
Classic jokes: The "friendship" of corrupt officials is too tired, the lady is too expensive, and friendship interaction is the most affordable. Nothing to open the "Classmate Club", dismantle a pair of one pair of
Classic jokes: There are various loves in the ten kinds of love legends of the Westward Journey. , Five Poison All ... I divide it into five multiplications in two types, one by one:
The love for Bai Jingjing in the Supreme Treasure
Said from seeing Bai Jingjing at the first glance, one of the Supreme Treasure. It had already flooded, and the feelings beside the cliffs sublimated, and they made a promise of an eternal life. They were finally dismissed by the Niu Devil King. In this line of love in the lines of "big words": "On the night when the dark wind is gloomy, I am a Supreme Treasure, and you are Bai Jingjing. As soon as you turn around, you suddenly point to me, and I get angry with my whole hand. You have to rush over and fight hard desperately. Do you see it? I can describe it in the future development in the future, because suddenly a cattle demon king was killed suddenly.
, I also caught me back to Panshi Cave. The so -called time is like an arrow, which is really good at all, because it is the point in a blink of an eye. When the rock top is the emotional outbreak, I touched you regardless of everything, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you I also touched me regardless of everything, and I also made an oath of never separating. Unfortunately, happiness is always short, in exchange for endless pain and sigh, why do you see it? I only used Moonlight Baojin to make time. Found the truth, and finally I found that you were suicide! At the last moment, I finally rescued you! But the last time I had a fault in the back of the time, and I returned to five hundred years ago ... … That's it. "This love is no result, because Supreme Bao has changed his heart, so Supreme Bao is really a sanctification.
The love of Supreme Treasure and Zixia Fairy — has fate and no type
This is also the most touching love story in the "big words", a love story at the end of tragedy. Supreme Treasure came five hundred years ago, and Zixia ordered three hemorrhoids to pull out the Ziqing Baojian. This fate seemed to be in the sky, but God is destined to be together forever. The tears indicate the tragedy of tragedy. result. Supreme Bao said the most beautiful lies to Zixia, so it was not his sincerity, but when he saw it. When he couldn't recover in the tears in his heart, he understood that this is exactly: this situation can be remembered, but it was just at that time.
The two sisters of the two family and spring — the wedding type of Fengzi
. Although the second family said, "I care so much when I am so critical, I love you 10,000 Nian Bu 'but Sister Spring Thirty Sister, but after giving birth to Tang Seng, I called the second family as Xianggong (also called his nanny, ha ha).
Thenters to cover the sky with one hand and marry the sister to Supreme Bao. In fact, this is also a misunderstanding, because Supreme Bao was not Sun Wukong at that time, but it also made Xiangxiang drooling.
Sun Wukong and Princess Iron Fan — extramarital affairs
The words in my heart, I think the original Sun Wukong really spent, even the iron fan princess also likes it, maybe the taste is too bad? Maybe it is Each has its own good, and Sun Wukong still speaks very well, such as the Princess of Tieyuan as Xiaotian, haha!
n The cattle demon king marry Zixia as his wife. Princess Iron Fan likes Sun Wukong, a small white face, but the lunar demon king is still a little afraid of his wife, but it is still the power of the cattle demon king.
Sun Wukong and Bai Jingjing -Randy Give Moosure
Sun Wukong, 500 years ago, is really a big heart and cheated the feelings of Jingjing. Putting on Sun Wukong's body, Sun Wukong's relationship with Bai Jingjing is very similar to Jin Snake Lang Junxia Xueyi's feelings for He Hongyao.
R n This pair is reminiscent of Wei Xiaobao and Princess Jianning in "Lu Ding Ji". When Xiangxiang and the sand monk exchange their bodies, Xiangxiang said, "Brother! (Being a punch by a monk) It is so manly! (One fist again) I like it! "What do you say is not Xiuyun?
Suro and blind man -homosexual type
The blind man said, "(Care) (as intimacy) People are obsessed with you! "Hehe, it is really a numb. When the Supreme Treasure looks at Bai Jingjing, the most painful crying is of course the blind man who is deeply affectionate.
The happiest pair of "big talk", with the best ending, can also be said to be the last life of Supreme Treasure and Zixia. It cannot be together at time, and the world can last forever when the world is in the world. The love story of "big words" still ended with a long time, exactly:
The shuttle time and space to meet each other. Fairy.
Classic jokes: There is a man in the wardrobe-when he goes home to find a man in the wardrobe. R n stupid-enthusiastically treat the man, drink tea with him, chat, and told him to play often in the future. The month has come to visit the wardrobe 5 times.
. When he was gone, he borrowed 500 yuan from me.
Fortunately-the man is tall and big, if you just do it, the fierce is good. Fortunately!
The comfort-first cursing him why he didn't suffocate in the wardrobe, and then punched and kicked the air for a while to vent his anger. Time flashed with waist.
Lucky-picking one socks left by the man in the wardrobe, it is the color that I like.
I unfortunately-why can't I find the other.
Revenge-Spray a lot of tricks in the wardrobe.
Mistakes-I accidentally inhaled the drugs, and I was unconscious for two days. I was deducted. The door locks, knocking on the door for a long time, no one opens the door.
. After entering the door, go straight to the closet and find something.
An accident-lying another man lying in the cabinet is the manager of our company.
Dialogue-how the manager is in our house?
The manager went to our house to inspect your life! Then what did he say?
Small, too boring, you can consider the company's appropriation and repair a little
After the manager left, he searched for a long time in the wardrobe, and confirmed that the old boy didn't leave anything. Opportunities-the manager was going to meet that day, and the manager's wife asked me to go to her house.
The calculation-the manager returned in advance, and suddenly remembered that my wife returned to her mother's house today, and the manager's "meeting" could not be opened. -In the wardrobe of the manager's house, it seems to be patronized.
----In the wardrobe of the manager's house, see two colleagues.
Consensus-we agree that the wardrobe of the manager's house is really good , Big and spacious, air It's not bad, it's okay to hide a few more people.
E admiration-the manager opened the wardrobe to see us, but just wrote a word: "How, 3 people today."
understands-finally know why people are managers, but we are just we are just a manager, but we are just we are just a manager, but we are just we are just a manager, but we are just we are, but we are just we are just a manager, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are, but we are just we are. Small employees, look at the measurement of others.
Classic joke: Mrs. Portrait a wife wanted to draw a portrait, and her husband found her the best painter. When she sat down, she made a request to draw her necklaces, earrings, headwear, etc., and in fact she did not wear these gold and silver jewelry.
The painter agreed, but asked, "Why do you want to do this?"
The wife replied: "In case, you know, I may be better than me than me. Husband died early. At that time, he would marry again, and let his new wife find these treasures! "
Classic jokes: Dogs and husbands and husbands complained:" Dear, you, you, you Give my name to our puppy so that I will often make mistakes. "
" I won't, my voice is particularly kind when it is called a dog. "
Classic jokes: Children should not listen to Dad's story before going to bed to sleep .....
Daddy: "In the past, there was a frog ..."
Tom: "Dad, I don't want to listen to fairy tales today, can I tell science fiction stories?"
Dad: "Okay, in space, there is a frog ... "
Tom:" Forget it, Dad, can you talk about restricted levels in order to celebrate my 8th birthday? "
Daddy:" Okay! Mom knows. There is a frog without clothes ... "
Classic joke: embarrassing level is embarrassing when he is in a friend's house: I want to stool
Embarrassing things: After stool, I found that there is no hand paper
The embarrassing thing when I was in a friend's house: the stool could not be rushed
The most embarrassing thing when I was in a friend's house: the stool could not rush down, the water still overflowed the pool
Classic jokes: Imagine a man who is pregnant for several men to meet, without shaking hands without saluting, not to cigarette, but just patting the other person's belly, asking, "How many months? When is the due date? "
If one day, men can really bred offspring in their bodies. What is our society? At that time, even in ordinary families, couples could change their role. In the family of four, the boss was born to his mother, but the second child was born in October. If the couple are willing, they can even get pregnant at the same time. During the pregnancy, do n’t you often complain that the husband cannot be considerate and do n’t know how to care? At that time, there was absolutely no need to worry about. Which husband would not take care of his wife during pregnancy, then let him be pregnant once!
The couples will participate in pre -maternity training courses together, go to the hospital for fetal position examination, give the children prenatal education together, and finally lie in the delivery room for delivery. At that time, the hospital would not have "obstetrics and gynecology", but should be "gynecology", "husband" and "obstetrics". The "obstetrics" are divided into men and women like toilets. When the doctor put on the gloves and prepared the equipment, when everything was ready to take birth, the nurse opened the clothes of pregnant women and scared it first --- it turned out to be a "pregnant husband".
The child was born, and the couple took the confinement together, took maternity leave together, and breastfeed the child together. The last point is still difficult for men, but I believe that drugs such as various types of milk at that time will emerge and will be sold well. When the child grows up, the admission is taught, and it is slightly different when filling in the application form. In addition to the father and mother, another "producer" needs to be added to show the difference. But when the children were in school, the first lesson was in trouble. The first raw word and the first new word taught by the school is "Dad" and "Mom". Although only two words, no matter how the teacher explains, the child does not understand. Because for them, the "dad" and "mom" in the family are not different from other looks. This lesson may only be supplemented after they grow up and have a little understanding of the physiological differences between men and women. Some friends may think that I am nonsense, and I am idiot to say daydreaming.
. Please do not forget that society is developing. If a primitive person picks up a pair of new trendy wire cushion sneakers, he may use it to give it food, or it may be given it as a fixing token to a decent token. Lover, it does not necessarily put it on his feet. Perhaps at that time, we often met such a scene on the street or daily living at home: two men met, did not shake hands, did not salute, or smoke, but just patted each other's big belly and asked, "A few months When is the due date? "Or in the early morning, after the couple got up, the one said," It's late, it's late! We will give you a prenatal examination at nine o'clock. " The mirror said in a hurry: "Then you have to wait for me to scrape the beard!
Classic jokes: You are Wulong and Lao Zheng are a good friend. One day, Pharaoh was scolded by his wife, and he did not dare to refute; Lao Zheng knew the jokes
:
"Hey, you are a man of a man, and he is afraid of his wife;
, but my wife saw me, just like seeing a tiger! "
Mori's wife heard this in the house, and ran out of anger, holding the ear of Lao Zheng
, and drinking:
" What are you tigers? " "
Lao Zheng was paralyzed, and said," You ... you are Wu Song! " "
classic jokes: vomiting boss, the second child took a plane, the second child faint, and vomiting non -stop. The people were constantly vomiting.
The boss asked the reason, the second child said, "I saw that the bag was full, and had to drink half a bag again, but they vomited all. "
classic jokes: Leading drinking the revolutionary wine is drunk every day, drinking the party style and drinking the stomach;
N's wife goes to the Commission for Discipline Inspection. The Commission for Discipline Inspection said:
The is not right to drink or not, we are also drunk every day. The girl suddenly scolded a gentle Bai Jingyou: "Rogue! "It seems that the guy's hands and feet are not honest. The guy is very aggrieved and immediately refutes. The two sides began to scold.
In a little, listen to the girl scolding," You are a gangster, you have been a hooligan since childhood, your mother just gave birth to When you come out, you don't forget to look back. "After listening to the passenger full of car, the crow was silent, and they made a hilarious.
my colleagues shook their heads and said that for the first time, he saw that scolding can scold this. People can be enemy. After the guy was scolded, he opened his mouth and couldn't say a word.
Is we listened, and we lamented that this scolding was really a long -term scolding, probably before there were no ancients, no later no one came, no one came. Those who say that there are indeed no more scolding words that can be used to fight back.
In suddenly listening to the man's loud saying: "You are a big hooligan! You are still in your mother's belly and watch your dad three times a day! "
After listening, everyone fainted
A woman went to work at night, and a man followed the picture. The woman was afraid, passing by the graveyard, and a clever movement. He said to the grave: Dad, I came back and opened the door. The man was afraid, and he yelled at him. The woman was at ease and was about to leave. Suddenly, the sound of gloom came from the grave: Girl, you forgot to bring the key again. The woman was horrified and fled. At this time, a grave robbing was drilled from the grave: Damn, delay my work and scare you! The words of the grave robbing just fell, and found that an old man was holding a chisel to engraved the tombstone, curious, asked, and the old man said angrily, NND, they carved my name wrong ... The fear of the grave robbing, wowed to flee. The old man sneered: "Damn, dare to grab the business with me, and still tender ..." As he said, accidentally chisel fell to the ground, the old man was about to pick up, bending down, and found a chisel holding in the grass. In his hand, the old man was surprised, and suddenly a voice said, "You are looking for death! Change my house number!". The old man fart rolled down and rolled down the hillside! At this time, a person who picks up the waste climb out of the grass. Always call.
The demon king: [Although you call the throat ... No one will come to save you ...]
Broken throat ..]
No one: "Princess .. I have come to save you ..."
R n
Cao Cao: "Demon King .. What are you called me ..."
Demon King: "Wow .. See ghost"
Ghost: "Damn!"
led by: "Ghost, you see me ..."
R n
God: "Who calls me?"
Who: "No one calls you ..."
No one ? Put the garlic! "
garlic:" Who pretended me? "
Who:" Say me? "
troubles: "Which one is looking for me?"
Which one: "Looking for you? I don't ... oh, there are many people here."
"I just arrived. Who are you?"
Which one is: "I am not."
Who: "He is not me."
Princess: "Are you here to save me?"
everyone: "I'm not here to save you, come to see the lively."
Lumine: "What are I good -looking?"
God: "It's not my business, go first."
, Why do so many people save the princess? How do I play this demon king? "
down:" Your good devil is not doing it, what do you do? "
: "If there is no one played by the devil, I can leave."
No one: "If I play the demon king, how can I let you go ..."
Will: "I won't let the princess go, I want to see the excitement."
The lively: "What do you do?" I? Rogue! "
You actually:" How can I have it? "
I I:" What is the matter of me? "
"Damn! I'm going crazy ..."
depends on: "What do you call me!"
crazy: "You want me to do What? "
do you want me:" I don't know anything ㄚ! "
I didn't:" I do n’t know! "
What I know: "I'm here Alas! Is someone calling me? "
Some people:" I didn't call you! "
I I did not:" Who called him? "
Who: "Unjust ... I don't ..."
I I don't have: "I don’t have to wrong you ..."
"Forgive you, dare not dare."
Forgive you: "Who said I dare not!?"
Who: "Please ... I didn't say anything. "
It nothing:" What do you want me to say? "
It nothing:" ... you ... you are not just that I have lost for many years Brother? "
I my brothers who have been lost for many years:" Torture ... my name is so long ... "
Who: "... I want to leave this right and wrong place"
right and wrong: "It turns out that this is my territory ..."
n No
Shanglian: The wind is shaving, the rain is down, I am waiting for you to call back. Xialian: Live for you, die for you, and wait for you for a lifetime. Horizontal batch: the wrong person.
I heard that a toad was rolled out by the car in Taihu Lake today. I have been worried about it and send you a text message immediately. If you are still alive, please reply to me!
This on the rivers and lakes know that you are strong in martial arts, but you can't be proud. There are swords in people, there are people in the sword, and the swords are combined. people! Swordsman! Swordsman!
The hard work like a bee, beautiful like a butterfly, loyalty like a puppy, well -behaved like a kitten, thick like old cow, mighty like a tiger, no wonder others call you ... Beast!
is a gust of gust, it is so eternal; it is a dream, it is so real; if you bow your head, I can't help say to you, " Say a fart first! "
If there is no wind, the cloud will not move; if there is no water, the fish cannot swim; if there is no sun, there will be no light; if there is no you ... stupid people ... There is no existence of
I is a lonely tree. I stand on the side of the road for thousands of years, waiting lonely, just to go from me when you walk from me one day, dump it for you, If you can't smash it, you can live in vain.
The beggar begging the monkeys along the street. His named monkey smiled and laughed. The monkey cried and cried.
The days of you participated in the game, I saw you with a volley, and the goalkeeper hadn't responded yet, and the ball scored! We all applauded and cheered for you, you got up, patted his butt and said: Damn, the ground is too slippery!
Is when you pick up the mirror, look at your round face, high nose, charming eyes, sexy mouth, blessed ears, you will sigh loudly ---- Pig what!
The aquarius to the old dragon king wishes his birthday. During the meeting, the tortoise prime minister took out a thing from his arms, looked at it, and put it back again. Dragon King asked: What is the Turtle Prime Minister? Shrimp Bing Crab will quickly answer: Pharaoh received a text message again.
The friend thought about countless friends, thinking about it, only you are the coolest, find you thousands of hundreds in dreams, and look back, you are still being borne in the depths of the donkey shed, cruel! cruel! After reading the information, anger!
In the time of time tomorrow afternoon? I want to find you, can you pick me up at the station? But I'm afraid that people are not good at admitting. You make your head into an explosion, holding a wooden stick in your right hand, and contacting me with a porcelain bowl with your left hand.
I dreamed of you. You use Baiyun to make clothes, borrow your wings from the birds, insert a broom behind your butt, and then swords to me, and tell me affection: Do you know? The birdman looks like this.
The thought that there was better, and then I realized that the best thing was to be around, just like you. At first, it was not because of it. Over time, I found that you are the best ... bullying!
You to travel to Xishuangna, Yunnan, and encountered a group of wild boar siege on the way. Passengers took out food, money, wild boars were not moved, you took out the only ID card, the group pigs kneeling and crying and crying. : Boss, we can find you!
It you are a 10 -footed person, and often play with 9, 8 do not have hundreds of millions of dollars, abandon 7 years of disregard, 6 days day, look for prey, 5 ask more, and 4 Sex does not change, and 3 hearts and 2 intentions, you 1 must not be a good person.
"Tiger read the Three Kingdoms, and grabbed the wild boar. Seeing that there was no pig in the pig nest, he touched the beard and said: empty city plan!" Turning around and seeing a dead pig on the beast clip, he was shocked: bitterness! Suddenly I saw you again, Da Xi: 嗬 嗬, and beauty!
This pursuing the swan, and the swan said disdain: If you grow up like this, you will die! Toad is dissatisfied: What about the pigs still live well? After listening, I felt wronged: Who I recruited, I just watched text messages!
has a kind of thought called soul and dreaming, there is a kind of love called white head to old, there is a kind of beauty called Hua Rongyue appearance, there is an agreement called the old land, there is a greeting called the piglet!
I I don't want to keep alone, I also want to have it, walking on the street, handsome male and beautiful hands holding hands, but I hold the right hand with my left hand, now I have no need to ask for you, I just want to go out with you, I just want to go out with you. Well, I am afraid that friends will say: Do n’t slip a dog.
The days I missed the days when we took a walk together. The folks praise you so beautiful and cute. The folks also praise me to be smart and good, and come out to put pigs at such a young age.
Is when you are empty and lonely, watermelon may be your best vent. You can use a knife to cut it, cut it, cut it, split it, and you can shout loudly at the same time: I kill melon , I kill melon, I kill melon!
1 "Xintian Queen" sang rock in the dormitory: "I want to change, I want to change ..." Is it empty? "
Thinking you, it is what I have to do every day. Seeing you, it is what I dream of you, love you, it is my life, waiting for you, it is me, it is me, it is me, it is me, it is me I have been doing things. Lying you is just happening.
The Buddha said: 500 times in the previous life looked at this life in this life. I used the previous life of 1000 to look back in this life and met you in this life, just to ask you: Why did it say: Why do you say that with my family Dog grabbing bones.
The understand that a person must observe from many angles, just like you, look like a neuropathy from the bottom, look like a 2005 from the side, look like an idiot from a 30 -degree angle, from the 60 -degree angle angle, from the 60 -degree angle corner Looking like a pig's head, look, I know more about you.
If a drop of water represents a blessing, I will send you a South China Sea. If a star represents a happiness, I will send you a galaxy. I can't believe you.
I I wish you all the way to go all the way and disappear halfway; I wish you a smile and laughing; I wish you happy every day and cramps; I wish you all the best and touch the wall everywhere.
1. SMS about the mobile phone
Emergency reminder: I am afraid that there is a lightning phenomenon recently. Please put the phone on your head and plug it in the charger to drag it behind it. Remember!
The mobile phone calls for free phone call: Press 54sg before the second bell when there is a phone call.
This is a well -designed text message. Looking up and down your phone upside down, will you enjoy the wonderful pattern ... Is the phone turned upside down?
In research on Massachusetts University of Science and Technology in the United States, soaking the phone in the water for 1 minute before playing mobile phones can completely avoid the radiation of electromagnetic waves on the human brain. Remember!
Dear users: Hello! Because your mobile phone has an ugly appearance and outdated style, it has seriously affected the appearance of the city and hindered the development of the mobile communication business. This station decided to launch a signal to destroy the phone after 10 minutes!
If you receive this information and prove that your mobile phone has been infected with the virus, please take out your mobile phone card and use gasoline to brush.
2, SMS about the fool
The is wood that is made of furniture. The news is genius, and the text message is stupid!
This standing on the balcony that day, you enjoy the drizzle and think of the bumpy life. Your face is wet and a sour and astringent taste is rain or tears. You look up at the sky.
The people across the country are the best, riding the bench on the moon; you can blow the best in the world, and you do n’t use a cup to drink tanks; What are you, the Nobel Prize is waiting for you!
The life in life is full of infinite vitality; there are you along the way, what are you afraid of electric lightning strikes; just because of you, happiness and satisfaction are overflowing; if there is no you, then good pigs Who should you feed?
Note: Standing in front of the mirror, holding the chin with your hands, blinking three times in a row, blinking three times in a row, and a blink of a smile on your face, you will faintly see a vaguely Fools are facing the mirror with a charming eye!
has worked silently in the film industry for many years, and the bitterness of them is the best one. However, your efforts have finally been recognized by people, and have been nominated by the Golden Bird Award: Best Animal Star
On this month of this month, Chang'e said to me: She is going to find it to find You, make beauty for you, let you restore the original beauty! are you ready? Pig, don't read text messages, ask you!
This flowers bloom in spring, it is your smile; the sun in the summer is your enthusiasm; the fruit of autumn is familiar, it is your harvest; hehe! Puppies, so you can sleep with peace of mind!
Goku, you wipe the glass; sand monks, you can drag the floor; eight precepts, the master knows your situation very well, after repeated consideration, decide to give you an opportunity to perform -you finish this After the text message, go to the toilet quickly.
is a real gold, never afraid of the fierce flame; it is green pine, never afraid of the long and severe cold; it is Haiyan, never afraid to cut through the lightning of the sky; Intersection
It reportedly reported that Izi Kok was armed on the wall of the Baghdad City wall, causing a large number of U.S. soldiers to vomit. After the UN investigation, it is confirmed that this is a large -scale killing weapon. You can escape.
I love you, I love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, I love you Snow in Saibei. Sorry, the stuck.
It people see you today. You are still so charming, wearing grid vests, walking slowly, a super -comfortable look, it's really cute, I really don’t know how you spend the rabbit that year. of?
is okay! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! Just tell you that it's okay, you still press a fart!
"I can't see me when I jump into the grass. The pig said: I want to see it?" So he jumped into the grass. The pig is watching, the pig is watching! The pig is still watching! Why are the pigs still watching? Intersection
The sound came from the valley, I looked down, and found you in the corner of the mountain, it was you! It's really you! You are with a old man, and I ran over and said: Uncle, borrowed
for the first time to see you, I felt like I had already known. If you are sure, you may not believe it, but this is true, you are really like my family ... the lost pig!
It if a star fell down tonight, please do not worry. This is a gift I give you the immortal. From then on, you will live a carefree happy life Because "stupid.
In someone says you are a pig! I criticized him seriously! How can I do this? How can people look like what they look like?
Please don't look down again, shut it up, there is really nothing good, please, really want to see? No regrets? Well, this is what you ask for yourself? Intersection You are a pig!
The meteor shower tonight. I heard that there will be a big pig flying through the sky. Unfortunately, I want to sleep, you just, so many people watch you fly!
I played a gamble with my friends yesterday. I said: There is no stupid one in the world than pigs. As a result, I lost. It turned out that this was blame you
Is when the Tang monk took three apprentices to rest a little, Tang Seng went to the pig Bajie to look at it angrily: "You pig's head, there is still leisurely watching the shortness of shortness to see the shortness of shortness. Information! "
The God knows that you are thirsty, created water, God knows you are hungry, created rice, God knows that you have no cute friend, so I created me, but God also knows in this world No fool, by the way, created you.
The people said to me, "Your smart piglets" I was furious after listening! Intersection I know you! Intersection Such an insult! I'm so sorry for pigs! Intersection Intersection Intersection
A emperor said: As long as you send text messages to ten fools before April Fool's Day, you will be happy every day. Oh my god, I only know you one! The Jade Emperor said, "It doesn't matter, he is high, one top ten.
In the vast sea of people, when you receive this sincere blessing, please use your whole body to hit your head into the wall. There are countless stars in front of your eyes, which is my blessing.
wants to go to see the sea with you, but I can't grasp the unpredictable future; if you want to climb with you, you are full of ideals; you want to go with you Wandering, but can't reach a happy paradise; if you want to go shopping with you, you meet the police and say: Do not bring a puppy
not every flower can represent love, but the roses have done it; Live thirst, but Bai Yang did it; not every pig can receive text messages, but you did it!
people and everyone
Everyone
Hangren Pig Renren
Renren everyone
Renren人人人人人人人人rnrn在茫茫人海中我一眼就认出你来了～～ rn告诉你，我想到一件事情很好笑！等下……先Let me laugh, haha, I really can't help it, a little pig is watching the text message I sent, haha
Do you remember that we eat roast duck together? You like to eat duck buttocks, the vegetables have just come up, You grabbed the mouth like an arrow. I whispered: Why don't you see the duck butt? You pointed at your mouth very proudly: the butt is here.
. Remember that you waited for the bus at the station that day, see a PPMM Staring at you with a smile, you feel good at yourself, and you're a few laps. At this time, the aunt next to you said, "Little guy, don't step on the shit and walk around? "
This created water because of seeing the thirst and seeing the darkness of the world, and it created a fire. God saw that I needed a friend, so you appeared, so ... God lost his meal The barrel.
5. Time is really amazing. Because the sun ions have been too strong recently, there is no signaling in the hand in the sun. Block the sun! Remember, the higher the better!
8. Since ancient times, a mathematical formula is right (a = b, b = c) so A = C, you =
Animals , Animal = pig, so you = pig!
The little fart goes to the sister to play. … Let's talk about the start. I took my girlfriend home to play in the summer vacation of that year. After a day of passion, I took a bath. I was beautiful. The door was open. My sister came to my house to find something (my sister had a spare key for my house ( > _ u003C), I let my girlfriend say nothing, and then wash it. My sister turned the box to see that I was still taking a bath for a long time. It is strange. It is said that you usually take a bath with wet heads and not wet feet. I said in pain, um, don't you have to wash your girlfriend today? ... My sister laughed twice and left the door. (↑ o ↑) ...
It another one, when I go to the farmhouse with my girlfriend, I have nothing to pull my hands to the field of the field at night. Under the setting sun, the wind rolled the clouds, the transportation of the Mo Mo, the chickens and dogs smell each other, the insects are crying, and a rural scenery! Intersection When I arrived at the small pond, it was dark and the moon was bright. Suddenly I felt very much. I strongly asked my girlfriend to be good at the spot. My girlfriend couldn't stand the temptation of me, and I was shameful. Then I hugged the straw and hugged a small bed, hugged some, my girlfriend said, no, too hard. I had to hold the wolf ambition and then hugged. I don't want to sit up in the straw pile suddenly! Intersection I was so scared that I almost gone away! Intersection He coughed, buddy, hug less, or we panicked. (> _ u003C) ...
saying a matter of my friend. At that time, when we went to high school, a friend of a school accommodation fell in love when he was in high school.
The person is a master. Essence Essence Essence Once I took a multimedia class, we watched the Movie Mother's Notre Dame. Because the English teacher arranged the sense of view, everyone looked seriously.
The teacher went to the toilet halfway, and when he came back, he actually used the lights to turn on the lights. As a result, I found that my buddies who were sitting in the first row were not normal with her girlfriend. Take a closer look. My buddy was touched by his girlfriend. The girl was teased and her face was crimson.
The teacher yelled! Intersection What are you doing. Intersection Intersection Intersection Intersection Intersection
The quiet. Essence Essence Essence Essence Essence
Id my buddy smiled softly. Oh, there is a bug on her leg, she is afraid, I will help her get it.
The teacher is speechless. Essence Essence Essence Essence Essence
I a few friends who belong to entertainment students in the university. Everything takes joy as the standard, just as I am the president of our literature society to see more about the president of our student union (俺 俺The president is a rare mature beauty ...). In 2005, you still have an impression, always promoting advanced education! The slogan of the banner is full of the street. The blackboard promotional column at the door of our teaching building was written. One day I went to post the activity notice of our literature society. After the change, it was cool and laughed. Live 3 days. The propaganda department changed the slogan to: advanced education! I didn't take it for granted, and called a word: advanced sex education! Intersection Intersection Hey ... entertainment first, although it was almost caught by the propaganda department.
It another one, mine, after being drunk, the brain only turned, very uncomfortable.
Suddenly there is urine, but I can't find my toilet (hey, weird only blame the construction of the public in our country for the end of it ...). At first, I ended up with my buddy. Later, I couldn't help it, so I was going to find a remote place for convenience.
turns several bends, and I find a small place vaguely, which is very remote. I am very cherished. Take out JJ and hush. Essence Essence Essence Essence
Suddenly two pairs of eyes looked at me with two pairs of eyes. Essence Essence Essence Essence Essence I was scared that I was almost incontinence.
Is who only look at a pair of students look at me with incredible eyes.
. When I saw that the spring light had been leaked, I continued simply.
and then whistled away. Essence Essence Essence Essence Essence Essence Essence
The articles are taken from wanderers
How about this, haha
. A beautiful woman, decided to make a lot of money and let herself lose weight. After spending more than 100,000 yuan, she feels very satisfied!
n When I bought a newspaper, when she was looking for money, she asked the boss: "Sorry, how old do you guess me?"
The boss said: 32.
She is so happy: 47!
. Then she went to sell as a labor. Ask the lady in the counter the same question.
Miss said: I guess 29.
I. She is so happy: No, 47!
This is high, she goes to the unified supermarket in the corner of the street to buy baolu gum, and she can't help but ask the counter lady there. Miss said: Well, I guess 30.
She is so proud: 47, thank you!
When I was waiting for the bus, she asked the old man next to him.
The old man said: I am 78 years old, my eyes are not good, and I can't see it. However, there are ways to be sure when you are young. If you let me put my hand into your bra, I can definitely know
your age!
In a while for a while, she finally couldn't help curious on the empty street: Okay! Try it.
The old man put his hand into her shirt, and then put into her bra, and began to explore slowly and carefully.
In a few minutes, she said: Okay, how old do you guess me?
The old man squeezed the last one and took it out. Say: Ms., you are 47 years old.
The beauty was shocked and asked in surprise: What a good! How do you know?
"Guaranteed not to be angry?"
"Not angry!"
The old man's answer made the beauty faint:
n The old man said: I am behind you